なにを思ったらいいの　What should I have in my mind?

平成１０年１月元旦

毎年そうするように、今年もまた、元旦の日に家族でお墓参りに行った。その日は、あいにく昼から雨が降ってきた。明日にしようかと思ったが、年に２度お参りするだけだし、先祖に家族が今年もこうやって健康に過ごしてこれたと報告しなければと、意を決しみんなで出かけた。

初参りの人はそう多くはなかったが、お年寄り、中年の人、若い人、子どもと年齢に偏りなく来られていた。私の先祖の墓は７分ほど階段を上ったところにある。

お墓の前について、花をあげ、雨が降る中ろうそくに灯をともし、せんこうをあげ、子どもたちに「さあお参りをし」と言った。９歳の末娘はちょこんと座ってなにやら言ってすぐに立ち上がった。１７歳の長女は黙って拝んでいた。１５歳の息子も黙って座ってお墓を拝み立ち上がった。そのときだ。息子が言った。「いつも思うやけど、ここでなにを思ったらいいのかわからへん」

一瞬「なにを言ってるんや」と思ったが、横から妻が「そらそうやな。ご先祖さんいうたかて、おおた（会った）こともないし、何にも知らんのに無理な話やな」と言ったときには、なるほどと思った。

We left home to visit our ancestors' grave on January 1, as we do every year.

This year the weather was not fine on the 1st. It started raining in the afternoon. First I thought we would postpone visiting the grave. But I considered that we only visit there twice a year, and that I wanted to show how healthy my family members are as well as to express my thanks to the sprits of our ancestors. So, we decided to visit the grave even though it was raining.

There were not so many visitors in the grave yard, but we could see some old, middle -aged, young people and kids there. Our ancestor's grave is up a set of stairs, for about a 7minute-walk.

We got there. My children placed some flower. I lit candles and incents and told my children, "Now, come and pray to our our ancestors."

My 9-year-old daughter quickly kneeled down and said something. my 17-year-old daughter prayed silently. My 15-year-old son quietly kneeled down, then bowed and got up. Then he said, "What should I have in my mind? I don't know what to think about."

I was surprised, but my wife said, " No, you couldn't, because you don't know our ancestors. You never met them."

I said nothing but understood what my children were thinking.